Waterwold

During the hiatus awaiting the Pissemoff dismissal of our report -is that prejudging this a bit?, I returned to my idea of the Kingbuncle slalom course inspired by string vests Heras fencing, Pissemoff's clayville idea and my trip to the olympics in 2012. I had a lengthy discussion over twitter with @lewdko56d4 - odd way to write Lord Coe I thought but he said my idea was 'sick' and 'off the hinges' which again I thought a strange choice of words for a member of the house of Lords.  I twatted him back that I would invite him to open the event and he said he was 'jacked' which sounded good but I wasn't entirely sure.

So after many many nano-seconds studying the Pissemoff house building methods I built the lighthouse and the raised seating for the event. I also built the quay to local spec as well but an early cabbage white clipped one of the main supports and the whole structure collapsed in a puff of dust. The Pissemoff workforce didn't complain this time as it all happened at 7:34 am which coincided with the mass startup of the big yellow diesels so it went unnoticed amongst the swirling clouds of soot.

Sure enough, within minutes of the first dew, the Kingbuncle course began to fill with 'slip'. Tickets sold like, well, tickets and the opening ceremony was marked by an exploding fuse box display by another local developer - amazing sight! They should pass on their pyrotechnic skills to Pissemoff.

Kingbuncle pairs event

@lewdko56d4 couldn't make the opening ceremony as he twatted that his ankle tag was working again so I persuaded Mrs Lovelylikemygran to cut the ribbon. Unfortunately this was all that was keeping the Heras fence panels in place and we lost three footballs, a blow-up hippo, some rabbits, the lifeguard, but most important of all, a signed edition of 'The developers book of scale' which was previously entitled 'Ted's book of small and far away'.

Scale

 
Suddenly the dew, gave way to mist, then finally drizzle without any warning from the met office.
There were chaotic scenes as the emergency services tried to contain the torrent but the white vans followed by the iron and steal cart, the Heras truck and the fisherman all disappeared into the distance. The canoeists all managed to reach the bank where we put some spare loft insulation from the development round them to keep them warm. Luckily they made it with only the merest loss of limbs due to frostbite.

Well, what a day! Thank goodness Pissemoff hadn't implemented the lorry wheel washing part of their planning permission obligations otherwise we'd all be gonners!


I had thought the event was an inspired idea but even this fella wasn't convinced...

Oh Jesus!

  
Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you are a house developer, reading this , it means it is all made up...but you still feel hurt huh?