Got to glow now

I'm very worried about Pissemoff grabbing a slice of council land for their development.
If the council rollover/get mugged by Pissemoff and no remediation is done on this land (highly probable) then they are potentially building on irradiated ground.
Pissemoff have already made arrangements for potential buyers to dress for the occasion, but are they aware that they should wear this gear for over 1600 years to reduce their exposure by 50% and 5000 years to get it to 10%. I for one would be a little bored of the fashion in, say, a month, so how these folks will exist without killing each other I dread to think. I'm guessing the houses will be highlighted by Pissemoff as having super efficient lighting in the form of glowing dwellers. No need for light bulbs then, just welding masks to get to sleep.

Mmm..yellow's in this season!

Then there would be the issue of pets, and if they are anything like my dog it would gas itself from the inside before any fast flying Alpha particles managed to collide with it's brain.

gag bag

I'm guessing that new owners must abstain from all forms of physical contact as this could lead to physical deformities and a tendency to behave in a callous, in-humane, monstrous way likely to upset huge numbers of people...oh my god...now it all makes sense!

Ok, I have a plan. If or when we get a meeting with Pissemoff, I'm taking my Geiger counter and anyone I come across who exceeds the limits gets put in a barrel and buried somewhere appropriate, like Uranus. 

uberzombietector

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you are a house developer, reading this , it means it is all made up...but you still feel hurt huh?