The Gar...

From careful study of the crayon drawings produced by Pissemoff, it transpires that in actual fact they only need the space of half Mrs Lovelylikemygran's garage. This got me thinking, and even though Mr Manofreason cautioned that this might not be a good idea, I was determined to be a good neighbour. I waited until Mrs Lovelylikemygran had walked to the local shops to pick up some more claymores and tripwire to prepare for P-Day and got to work.
The job was surprisingly easy and didn't take long. The Pissemoff contractors came over to complain about the noise and dust. I showed them my blue badge and they shrugged and went back to their card game.

Mrs Loveleylikemygran's twingo

Mr Manofreason looked aghast at my work and explains that this was a bad idea because the lights didn't work anymore. It turns out that Mrs Lovelylikemygran doesn't drive at night on account of her being blind in both eyes, so was delighted at our kindness.

All we needed to do now is to find a half competent construction worker to saw the garage down the middle and put a wall up on the centre-line. Try as we might, putting posters up in Kingbuncle windows, fly-posting in Pissemoff show homes, nothing, not a one had enough expertise to do the job. Apparently the issue was that the garage was made out of brick and none of the interviewees had seen or worked with a substance so strong and hard. Some even said it was a myth that such substances existed - the red mercury of the building world.
Turns out Mr Manofreason once broke a brick in half in karate when he was five so is technically overqualified.
Pissemoff had, in their original letter, offered as a gesture of good will (bless 'em), to carry out this work themselves but if I had wanted their idea of construction I could have spent the day mixing torn up bits of newspapers in a bowl of glue myself.

As no decision on P-Day had been set on account of only just having sent the report to Mr Callousgreedypig we decided to have a rethink and wait the few weeks it would take for him to work out how to open the envelope.

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you are a house developer, reading this , it means it is all made up...but you still feel hurt huh?