Location, location, vacation

The locations manager for celebrated film director Martin Scorvese has been unexpectedly sacked from his position amid controversy. Scorvese had just finished the last scene of his latest project 'Zombie Invasion Five', a sequel to his highly successful award winning franchise, when the announcement was made that Antonio Ramagucci had left the firm.
We tracked down Mr Ramagucci at a self help group therapy session at the Shangri-la Hostel in Bristol and he gave us an exclusive interview:
 "we were looking for a suitable opening scene location in the film to show nice clean new suburbia before the apocalypse of zombies had begun. We had been promised by Pissemoff homes that we could use their new estate near Bristol, ironically called 'Dead Acres', if we gave them prime billing in the credits and they would put the residents up in cheap hostels. When I arrived at the estate I was totally blown away. It looked like the end scene after the hordes of rampaging zombies had waged war with the military in house to house guerrilla warfare, where the CGI had been skilfully added in afterwards - it was amazing!, fences all wonky with broken slats, roads swimming with thick mud, uneven roofs with broken tiles, garage doors piled with sand bags, front doors hanging by one hinge, cars half buried in holes in the drives, chimneys at bizarre angles, gardens awash with mud and bricks, gutters hanging vertically and angry people in dressing gowns beating workmen with broken plastic pipes. Inside was similarly perfect with damp soaked carpets, stained ceilings, loose bare wires coming out of walls and force four draughts all over the place. Many of the houses had the name of my favourite Beatles album scrawled on the walls and windows which I thought odd at the time. When I spoke to the occupants as to why the estate looked this way, I signed them up as extras immediately. They were haggard, with looks of resignation on their pasty faces and didn't need any make up at all. I myself became severely depressed during the filming and had to seek help from the poor overwhelmed doctor working out of the section 106 surgery before he was crushed to death by a stack of Prozac boxes. The problem came when filming finished as the estate occupants refused to leave the hostels to return home and Mr Scorvese was sued by Pissemoff. When I'm better I will start a commune to help these poor wretches get over their obvious trauma"

Pissemoff subsequently attempted to employ Scorvese's highly skilled digital artists to work on their own promotional video showcasing their Bristol development but the group declined the offer "Turning that pile of shit into something looking half reasonable is way beyond our capabilities or computing power" they said.

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you are a house developer reading this , well done!