Wednesday, 3 December 2014

Yob application

Junior Strategic Chancer


Pissemoff Homes requires a dodgy Junior Strategic Chancer to work within the land stealing team based at their Head Office in the Death Star. You will principally be involved in the identification of new strategic land thefts and promotion of existing sites already stolen within the Company’s strategic portfolio. Additionally, you will be expected to have sound knowledge of up-to-date planning policy workarounds, assisting the team in forcing through inconvenient development control matters, coordinating and assembling vague planning applications and collating information from both external underworld consultants and internal enforcer teams, to find the best angle and making sure the local planning authority members have fantastic holiday breaks, or other kinds of breaks if uncooperative.


The successful candidate should be unqualified or working towards disqualification, and must hold current fake UK Driving Licence. Ideally, you will be currently out of work either within a local crime gang or private practice consultancy (city gang) and looking to extend your wealth and further your career with a bigger bunch of crooks.


The successful candidate will have good poker faced lying and bluffing skills. You will be an enthusiastic, fast learner, hard man, self gratification expert and have the ability to use whatever it takes to tread on ordinary  people whilst being able to piss higher up the wall than your fellow gang members (except Daft Spader of course).


Present your application to anyone you find under a rock and it will get here, they all work for us.

Daft Spader

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you are a house developer reading this , well done!


1 comment:

  1. Hi Very funny. I have seen a few of these working for the firm and have known one who was too qualified and had to leave because his standard was too high!!


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