Quasi-spatial time dilation differential spin momentum conjecture

The Royal Observatory Greenwich today appealed to house developers to rein back their accelerating home building schemes. The body responsible for maintaining time has detected an anomaly with the rotation speed of the Earth which consequently affects time.
Professor Ray Tompkins, chief curator at Greenwich explains that it’s down to the amount of bricks and concrete being dug from the earth and placed much higher up (further from the center of the earth) that leads to the slowing of the Earth’s rotation.

“It’s a little bit like when you spin on a swivel chair and put out your arms and legs, the spinning slows” he continued “if you pull your arm and legs in tight the rotation gets faster”

 

Prof Ray Tompkins FRCS MGTRE MBE RIP

“What we need to do is build underground, below where we get the clay for the bricks from”
He estimated that if the building continues unabated then our day could be as long as a week currently, within a few years.
Geoff Charmers from the treasury was dismissive of such claims but was observed slapping the back of a co-worker presumably at the thought that in a few years’ time no pensions would need to be paid since nobody would actually reach the requisite age before pegging it.
Unfortunately within hours of the claims, Professor Tompkins was killed when a colleague accidentally kicked him off the observatory balcony whilst testing the swivel chair hypothesis.

Time lapse

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you are a house developer reading this , well done!