Paint your pallet blue and grey

Housing minister Brandon Lewis's demand for using new technology to speed up the building of new homes seems to have backfired as many of the big builders cut more corners in turning today's housing estates into vast complexes of firewood. Never one to miss a trick, Pissemoff Homes in collaboration with struggling pallet maker Sawpoint PLC fanfare their latest creation to satisfy Mr Lewis's forlorn ambition to hold onto power in May.

In an ironic twist, Pissemoff executives admitted to having talks with lawyers acting for the defunct  match makers Bryant and May with a view to using up the vast stocks of tinder dry match wood which was left after the company foundered in the early nineties.

An unlikely beneficiary of this move was a small British manufacturer of breathing apparatus (Gasper Ltd) who has received a massive order from the Fire Brigade for the anticipated aftermath.  
Mr Lewis, in yet another in a series of never ending gaffs, was quoted as saying "We need just this kind of spark of genius to get things really going in UK housing"
 

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you are a house developer reading this, well done!

Thanks to Paul Sherwood for his inspiration.