Mass hysteria

Emergency vehicles were sent to Pissemoff  Homes Headquarters this morning in what was initially described as a ‘mass hysteria’ event.

A fleet of ambulances and police cars raced to an incident within the main administration building.

Six staff were treated with oxygen and wrapped in thermal blankets in the main car park as police investigated the circumstances.

A spokesperson for the company said that there was “nothing to see and to move along”

John Bradshaw from a garden ornament company in the next unit said that he made the emergency call just after the postie had been earlier on, but could offer no explanation as to the cause of the situation.

On site Police ‘gold’ Commander Bill Watson said that his force had acted in a swift and timely manner in response to a serious incident in the early hours of the 15^th but wouldn’t expand on this, as the situation was still on-going.

Later in the day we spoke anonymously to one of the office workers affected by the event, Mary Doyle who said that Alice had opened a letter and immediately keeled over. Darren then picked up the letter and went the same way. Three further colleagues similarly collapsed before Mary called 999. Whilst waiting for the emergency services, curiosity got the better of her and she succumbed as well.

Police were piecing together the story when Mary Doyle realised she was still clutching the letter in her hand when she came round. It read:

Dear Mr Bradshaw,

         I simply had to put pen to paper to express my complete delight at my new gnome.

Never have a seen such a beautiful design. The paintwork is top class, the finish and construction outstanding, and what’s more it was delivered at amazing speed.

I’d like to say a big thank you to your incredible friendly staff for all their help and advice.

Yours sincerely

Mrs Trellis, North Wales


Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you are a house developer reading this , well done!