House building executives are angry at employee use of matches
in place of Rawlplugs to attach brackets, sockets, shelves etc to walls.
An incandescent Samantha Rogers criticised the lower
management in allowing this practice –“it’s just not on” she said, “We spend
many tens of pounds every year on the thousands of unskilled workers we have,
in an attempt to make them build to our specification”, She continued, “We have a responsibility to our shareholders”
Ms Rogers has issued an email to all senior managers to
ensure that the current arrangement of collecting fallen leaves in the far East
and having the stalks removed by young children and sent by container to the UK
will continue in exchange for mentioning the children’s names on tweets.
Mark Richards, a part time carpenter , said that he
preferred matches since the stalk approach often meant things fell off the wall
before he had chance to be made redundant and moved on to another developer. He
explained that this was “a total waste of my effing time, putting up with
ungrateful whinging home owners”.
“only last week I put back a shelf that had their Great Uncle Malcolm's urn on, only to be shouted at for hoovering the place after I’d finished –
I can’t bleedin’ win can I!” he said.
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